Letters from Home

Today my love and I were trying to go through some of the stuff we have accumulated over the last 2+ years since living here. We have bins upon bins in our computer room that hold stuff that we didn't even remember we had. Thanks to the tv show "Hoarders" on A&E ... I found the need to organize! hehe. As we were going through it of course we were both getting a little frustrated. He was hungry and well I was frustrated because we just don't have any room to even try to organize. And when I get frustrated he tends to get frustrated and it just snowballs from there. So we're pissy with each other and everything else within these four walls of our computer room when my love comes across a box that is duct-taped. He says "Do you know what this is?" and I respond "Nope, never seen that box before." Spero then says "Let me show you." He tears the duct-tape off and opens the box and in this box was a year of our life ... written in letters, cards, pictures.

See this box was from when he was overseas. He saved every letter I wrote him. He saved every card I sent him. He saved every newspaper article, picture, every letter from his parents, every letter from my Grandma. He saved it all. He just kept handing me letter after letter, card after card. I read each and every one of them. There was a card that he said "be careful when you open it" ... It was the wedding anniversary card I sent him ... inside the rose petals from our cake that I had sent in the card were still in there, petal for petal. We both sat there pretty much silent as he gave me the time to read everything. There was one marked November 20, 2006 where I talked about it only being a three-day work week because it was Thanksgiving and oh how I wished he could be there but that I was going to spend the day with his parents. I cried. As I read these cards it took me back. I swear I felt like I was sitting on my bed writing these letters every night right before I went to bed. I swear I could feel my hand move as if I were writing these letters. And oh how I could feel every emotion as I read these letters. There was the first letter I wrote him, where I told him that I would never hold this against him. Where I told him that if I could go with him I would. Where I told him I would wait forever and a day for him and if that day should come sooner than we would like that he is the love of my life and to know that I will love him every day until we meet again. As Spero and I sat on the floor going through this box and as I read the letters..I'd ask him if he wanted to read this one or that one and he finally said "Audrey, I don't need to read them because I've memorized every single one." *sigh* *tear*

It's hard to believe it's only been three years. Every day that time gets further and further away and with all that is going on in the world and our lives, we forget about that year. We forget about not being together on the holidays or on a rainy Sunday. We had always said before he left that we would never take each other for granted for this year will teach us. Unfortunately, we do take each other for granted at times. I forget about the first Friday that he didn't come home for the weekend. I forget coming home to an empty apartment. I forget having a great day or a bad day and not being able to tell my husband about it. I forget that we couldn't just dial each other up at anytime of the day to just say "hey, i love you". I will admit though, to this day, even if I'm extremely exhausted and I go to bed earlier than him (which is usual) ... 9 out of 10 nights I can't fall asleep until he gets into bed. The minute he lays down I pass out like a baby. I have blocked a lot of that time out in my mind. I didn't realize how much until today. Those letters are like a gift, a gift to remind me of what Spero and I went through and how we wouldn't be here today if we hadn't grown as one through that year.

As Spero put everything neatly back in the box, duct-taped it back up and put it in one of the bins ... I looked at him and said "I wouldn't change a thing." and he said "Neither would I."